Keeping my Spirits Up

I had a fairly busy weekend and was able to see a number of people and had some excellent visits but Donny works on the weekends so I'm left on my own pretty much all day barking orders at the kids (which they don't much enjoy): can someone please walk the dog? could you please make me tea? please throw in the dark load of laundry and hang it up. please unload / load the dish washer. etc. As you can imagine no one jumps up and does it the first time they are asked. It gets frustrating!

When I imagined being non-weight bearing for 6 weeks (which has now become 8.5 weeks), I imagined doing stuff but on crutches. The one (obvious) thing I overlooked is the fact that crutches occupy both hands. You can't do much stuff without hands! I have figured out how to grip my crutches with my armpit and swing them around (one at a time) to move along which allows one hand to be free but this is a fairly dangerous practice! I few times I've knocked myself off balance while doing this. I've always recovered okay so far but I have nightmares about smashing my head into the granite counter top on my way down!

My physio is going well and doing exercises and icing 3x per day forces me to take breaks from working. I don't look forward to the exercises but always feel proud of myself when they are over because I really work hard at them. Today, my physiotherapist said he will get me on the bike next time! This is something I really look forward to.

In spite of all these positive things and the people who visit and the help I get from my wonderful family and the progress I'm making, I still have down times when I feel, quite honestly, sadness and despair. At first, I blamed the pain meds but those have been out of my system for a long time. I get mad at myself for feeling this way because everything is going so well and so many people are so much worse off than I am ... but the feeling just comes sometimes and I can't always push it away. And then I found this person's blog post called "The Mental Side of Recovering from Ankle Surgery" and that made me feel better about feeling down. She pretty much sums things up for me. I am (was) a very active person (swimming, yoga, walking a lot) and now I do pretty much nothing. I know it's cold out but I really miss being outside! I'm hoping when I can get back into the pool, I'll start even feeling better (count down: 13 days!)

New Phase: Physio

I've been through a fair amount of physio in the past several years for my ankle, my shoulder and my back. It hurts but always feels good after and I've always felt good about going (enjoyed it, even). But this time I was really scared. I have a sense that my post-surgery ankle is much more fragile than my pre-surgery injured ankle. As a result, I was really worried about what would happen at physio. I was tense and it hurt and I had to do deep breathing to get past the pain (which I think now, in hind sight, was really more fear than pain).

Physio consists of the following steps: 1. ultrasound to reduce swelling and other stuff. The metal thing that rubs on my foot feels quite uncomfortable where my foot is still numb (it will take several weeks for the nerve to repair). 2. After ultrasound, I get fitted with TENS pads that connect to a machine that stimulates the foot to reduce pain, apparently. They put ice on top and then turn up the machine as far as I can tolerate (I’ve had this before on my ankle, shoulder, and back!). 3. Then the physio therapist massages the muscles (what’s left of them -- I've had muscle wastage!) in my lower leg and moves my foot forward, backward, left right, around holding each time and pushing much beyond where it wants to go. This hurts.

I have a series of exercises to do at home 3x per day.

That said, I really like the physio therapist and the place I'm going (thank you, Pearl, for recommending it) but after my first appointment, I felt down and discouraged. The next day, I did all my exercises but still felt down (almost inexplicably so). Today, I went to physio again and saw a huge improvement (mostly in my attitude!) but also in my range of motion and how much more easily I can manage the work they do on my foot. So, I'm feeling very positive about things right now and looking forward to each of my physio appointments!

Progress

Now that I have the air cast, I feel more comfortable moving around. When it swells, I can take some of the air out of my cast to relieve the pressure. Yesterday, my sister, Sue, took me shopping. I bought stuff to make a delicious soup and a ready-made salad and a loaf of fresh bread. I came home and sat at the table and chopped vegetables and instructed Hazel on what to do with the ingredients. Together we made soup! It felt good to be cooking again!

I take my foot out of the cast 4-5 times per day and move my foot back and forth. Last night it was quite swollen after all my activity. Even this morning (Sunday), it was still swollen ... more so than Friday. I had another long soak in the bath and scrubbed my foot. It is interesting how much skin is peeling off (yuck).

I find I have to deflate / inflate the cast frequently to get the right amount of stability without discomfort. I'm guessing I'll get used to it soon and will get better at knowing how much is needed either way.

So, I think I'm making progress. I am looking forward to starting physio therapy next week!

Next Phase of Recovery -- Air Boot

Today, I had my blue cast removed and replaced with an air boot. The blue cast was cut off with this vibrating saw and then pried away with some fancy tools after which the white bandages were cut away.

I was instructed to move my foot back and forth but I still can't bear weight on it. I need to still use crutches for 3 more weeks but I start physio therapy as soon as possible. After 3 weeks, I can start to walk on it with the boot but will still use crutches. At the 6 week mark, I should be walking without crutches using the boot.

Here I look happy to have the boot on! But I was a bit disappointed that I'm still non-weight-bearing for 3 weeks. Even worse, I can't swim for 3 weeks. I am happy to have the boot, though, because I can take it off. I have to sleep in it so that will take getting used to. It is heavier than my blue cast and I am having trouble getting comfortable in my old positions so will have to figure out new ways to relax.

I can take it off to have a bath and already have!! Here are a few pictures of my foot before the bath. This one compares my two feet/legs. Here is the inside of foot. The steri strips will fall off in a few days. Here is the outside of my foot and the bottom of both feet.

It's hard to tell the difference in these "after the bath" pictures, but it is definitely cleaner and a lot of dry skin has been removed: The outside of my foot. Check out the skinny calf!! The inside of the foot. My feet together (Woody waits and watches). Finally, the bottom of my feet.

Plateau ... or Progress?

It has been a long time since I've posted. Mostly because I don't feel like I have much "new" to report. In a way I feel kind of stuck at this level of recovery: cast on foot, energy in the morning, work at my computer lying on my back for as long as I can during the day, some outing most days (coffee, lunch, visit to the in-law's, etc.), tired in the evening, sore foot in the evening (mostly burning all down the outside of it), sleep, repeat ....

But then I thought about it and I think I may be making progress. The tops of my baby and next-to-baby toes are getting more feeling in them and I can sleep in 3 positions now (instead of just 2). I can move my foot around a bit in my cast (I'm probably not supposed to but I kind of like moving it). I'm getting pretty good at crutching and I even figured out how to get a cup of coffee (any liquid really) from the kitchen to the living room without spilling it: pick up cup, move cup as far along counter as I can reach, put down cup, crutch, pick up cup, repeat [at one point I have to move it from counter to coffee table but if I position myself in between the 2, it's doable!] Basically, I can do a lot more on my own.

I only have 8 sleeps until I see the surgeon next and maybe I'll get the cast off (fingers crossed ... hey, I can even cross my toes!!)